To add to this i also experienced my first serious ego death on weed and 1 tab.
Took the tab. About an hour in i started doing bong rips. If it had not been for the tab i wouldve just been incredibly stoned.
But at this point i sat down in my chair. I remember it quite clearly, ironically. I had this disturbing feeling that something was happening to me, but i didnt know what. I started sweating, getting incredibly anxious.
I was all alone. It was late. I stared at the wall. Nothing came to mind. I just perceived everything. The previous 19 years of my life were nothing, or at least they seemed to be gone, washed down the drain.
At some point i started crying, sobbing, almost yelling in my cry. This was too much. Im glad no one was there to watch me go through this. It would have been quite disturbing.
I had to do something with this feeling. I got up, and looked at a picture of myself and my brother and father on the wall. I stared at myself for what seemed to be eternity. I didnt recognize him. I knew nothing about him, me, the former me. Logically i knew that was me but emotionally i had no clue what he was. It started to seriously frighten me, i had lost my ordinary sense of being, my comfortable mental nest that my mind laid for me.
At this point i had the single most profound feeling of my life. Recently i had been reading about quantum theory, and the implications of it. It popped into my mind, and instantly i mechanically rewrote my definition of who or what i was. I had this feeling that i was a complex organization of minute, planck level changes, all organized through space, a mini being, caught in the infinite web of cosmos
Reading/writing this makes me feel psychotic. But to me it was one of the most profound spiritual moments of my life (i am agnostic btw). I cried the most happy cry in my life. My life was the chance to be a creative line in the universal play. A series of minute level changes all working together to create what i call me, my body, and not only me, but the universe as a whole...
I cried for hours that night. I grabbed a full size towel to blow snot in it. I was hyperventilating, it was overwhelming and i lost control of myself for an hour. These sensations rushed through me.
It was an experience only for me. As much as i try to describe it to others i cannot show them the profundity of it. It taught me that "i" am ever changing. I have always been here. And the hippy notion that "we are all one" burned into my mind permanently that night. It was one of the most spiritual moments of my life, and forever changed my perception of the world.