Are there any lainons that think that they have it or have been diagnosed with it?
>Too sensitive to criticism or rejection
I get so torn over any criticism, even if it's obviously just a joke. I even feel terrible when someone insults me over the internet. I just can't take at all. >Feeling inadequate, inferior or unattractive
I feel horribly ugly despite getting compliments on my hair and clothing quite often. I often can't stand looking at mirrors or windows because I fear my reflection. I have no idea how to deal with compliments. I usually don't even realize that someone was trying to compliment me, and when I do I'll either deflect on instinct or just lie and say "thanks". I also feel really dumb most of the time, but that's probably true, honestly. >Avoidance of work activities that require interpersonal contact
I'm a delivery driver, so I don't get too much serious social contact, but I still agonize over the simple "how are you today" and "have a nice day!". I have to fight tears in the car sometimes because I just know that whoever I just delivered to must be disgusted at how much of an awkward and careless human being I must seem to be. Not to mention that I try to avoid talking to my co-workers as much as possible.
I've also skipping classes lately because of this fear, especially the ones where I don't know anyone. I feel like I'm being stared at by everyone, being laughed at. I can't stand it. I can't even concentrate. I just sit in the back and try to hide my weeping until class ends and have a breakdown in my car. >Socially inhibited, timid and isolated,
It takes me several months to a year to be comfortable enough to talk freely to a new friend. If and when I do finally reach the point, I eventually get convinced that they hate me and only interact with me out of obligation or pity. An interesting outcome to this is that all my friends are quite extroverted and caring, though, since they're the only once who can stick with me long enough. >avoiding new activities or meeting strangers
I used to join clubs and soykaf, but I'd always deeply regret joining and ultimately leave because I never felt like I fit it. I always believed that my peers made fun of me for being inadequate behind my back. "Lainon's such a bad athlete, lainon's such a bad speaker, what a loser, he's so quite" they must've said/thought. Leadership roles also scare me greatly, even if it's something as little as giving someone advice. My parents would make fun of me for being too much of a follower during my childhood. >Extreme shyness in social situations and personal relationships
I can't imagine being in any kind of intimate relationship. I just can't. It seems like torture to me and I can't see why anyone would want such a commitment. Even saying things like "thank you" and just being nice in general is often really scary to me.>Fear of disapproval, embarrassment or ridicule
It's all I think of. Anxiety plagues me every day whether I'm with people or alone.
It's apparently a rare personally disorder, but I bet that's just because people with avoidant personality disorder don't seem like the kind of people to accept help, and that's kinda the struggle that I've having right now. I don't think that I deserve the "luxury" of acknowledging this disorder. There are people who are starving, who are beaten every day, who have much bigger problems than I do. I have no right to complain about "muh shyness."
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. This is probably better than talking to an imaginary friend, which is what I've been doing lately.