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lainchan archive - /feels/ - 11203

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Hey lains. I recently read a book centring on the dialogue of oxford fellows which made me realise something - my conversations (if you can even call them that) are worthless. At the risk of sounding like a bigot, no one I ever get to talk to irl seems capable of saying anything remotely enlightening. I have one moderately intelligent friend, but I still get nothing of substance from talking to them. I want to surround myself with people who can engage in discourse and learn from it. I can't afford university so I don't have any way of meeting groups of intellectuals. Despite hating mainstream education, I used to fantasise about being transferred to a school for the profoundly gifted (both for intellectual and superiority reasons) but obviously that didn't happen.

Also, I think my years of communicating in empty drivel has taken a toll on my conversational ability. I often get called rude for unwittingly neglecting social courtesies such as not saying 'how are you' after they said it, or not looking at / backing away from them as they are talking. If people ask me something like 'you alright?' or 'how was your day?' I can rarely even conjure up an answer, leading to them to, understandably, get offended and murmur under their breath or to their friend. I fear that if I was to meet someone interesting I wouldn't be able to talk to them and id seem to them like everyone I know seems to me.

TL;DR I'm smarter than everyone and I'm very bitter about it.


I had a friend considered kind of dumb but I still learned a lot from her. She tested me and pushed me a lot. The communication was soulful and deep and not something I had quite gotten from talking to other intelligent people, because I am in a university and was in gifted programs through my schooling. She understood me deeply, she must have been smart when it came to humans or socially. But she likely would have scored low on an IQ test and I couldnt talk with her about a lot of bizarre or out there topics I might of liked to. She would have probably told me to stop thinking so much.

Talking with other smart people often feels like mental masturbation to me. I want somebody who will humble me. Somebody who can bring me to reality and not the world of abstractions built on abstractions in my mind. To a degree I have a certain disdain for other intelligent people and it doesnt stem from competitiveness or jealousy.

I'm not saying this is the right way of looking at things, just giving you another perspective or option. I don't doubt your intelligence for sure, I think even the dumbest person on this board has an IQ a good 20 points higher than average. But how valuable is intelligence really for a human connection? I dont think its required so long as you arent too far off from someone.


I've known people just like your friend. One I think was somewhat "learning disabled" and even watching her draw simple pictures was a bit cringey. She had no capacity for spatial reasoning and frequently got lost. Yet when it came to social interactions, nothing got past her. She could look right through you and tell you exactly how you were full of sh*t every time. I know that the attributes used in D&D are just an approximation used for gameplay and not a model for cognitive science but as for the distinction between Intelligence and Wisdom, there's something there for sure.

You are not smarter than everyone else, you are merely socially inept and don't know how to communicate with normal people.


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Everyone's got something to offer, personally I think that people have a hard time being willing to offer their wisdom or experience beyond easy small talk. I love conversation with people because even if i dont learn a new skill.... I can pick apart their answers and come up with concepts they may be trying to explain. FOR instance, two of my friends who are stoners and pretty simple to my understanding were talking about an acid trip they had together. One of them just said "parallels" and the other got it instantly... that was their thing, i get it, but it was an odd thing to see. Parallels. I thought about two lines and how they can look the exact same. Two lines that are like reflections of each other, and yet will never ever touch: its not how they work, and thats how it was meant to be. That helped me understand my ex and I. It helped me move on from her, having figured out why exactly I was so drawn to her even after all these years.

TLDR; its completely on you if you want to be titilated by wisdom and the like. Enough thinking and it will come to you with or without another person's intellect.


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I can't offer you any advice on life decisions, but I'd like to recommend you two books. Monsieur Teste by Paul Valery and Bartleby the scrivener by Herman Melville.

These books are psychologiical portraits of two characters who are alienated from the rest of society because of being 'too smart', if I can put it this way.

I think you might identify to them and it might provide you with an example on how to deal with the world around you.


For me, having a very knowledgeable friend would be nice but in the end I'd just be using them for my career purposes if that's all they were offering. Deep down I really just want cute friends like in anime...


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I have to whole heartedly agree.


Can you tell me more about her? A story or something?


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>If people ask me something like 'you alright?' or 'how was your day?' I can rarely even conjure up an answer

That's because the people that ask these questions don't actually know why they ask such retarded questions in the first place, yet they'll get mad if you don't answer their question normally, like some sort of hive mind recruiting a new host.

It's basically a sheeps way of saying hello, they want you to lie, to confirm their beliefs of how precious existing is.

I'm also quite bitter at how stupid everyone is with their NPC like behavior, and having literally no ability to see out of their own mindscape.

It's at these points when everyone is so dumb and there's nothing you can do about it, but try create some inner plane where you can talk with other enlightened versions of yourself.

TLDR: to intelligent


I suppose some people can't or doesn't like to express their ideas in live speech, and instead prefer writing. People might also be tired or otherwise occupied in their mind when you decide that now is the time to check their intelligence and deep conversation skills. Lastly, not everyone is keen on speaking their mind to anyone, especially when to bitter people who intentionally fail the first, most basic little ritual of checking whether that person is in a mood for talking.
I'm fairly certain that public spaces are full of these smarter than y'all people dismissing each other as dumb fuarrrks who can't ever seem to say anything interesting.

tl;dr use high intelligence to develop social skills, be pleasantly surprised.


My experience may be different than yours at some points, but you can always learn from others, sometimes without even exchanging a word with them. That's why I like to look at people in the street.
Don't expect others to come to you and tell you enlightening things, you're on your own, this is an introspective activity, so even when you're talking with others, no matter how deep, you are limited to your own experience and focus on life. You may be hearing the most dull story in the world and it may be enlightening in many ways if you were to just see beyond the words themselves and at the person telling you this, why it worries them so much, how they come to such conclusion, what is their background, etc.
Sounds like you're just acting like the special snowflake surrounded by sheeple who can't have a conversation up to his level because you read Schopenhauer and now you are a SMART boy.


OP here, I'm sorry I sounded like such a twat before. Thanks to everyone who has given genuine advice. The tldr was meant as a joke btw.


I was trying to say that I wanted different peers, I was not trying to soykaf on my current ones. I am incompatible with them, I acknowledge that this is my problem not theirs.


I don't mean this is an insult, but you sound like you might be on the autistic spectrum. Especially the stuff about not being good at small-talk and not looking at people when you're talking to them. Is eye-contact difficult for you? Have you been tested for autism/asperger's?

Again, I know autism is used as a generic insult on the internet, but I'm genuinely trying to help.


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He is not. The very fact that he worries and shows a desire for something puts him out of such category.

I say this because I share some of his problems. I find usual conversation devoid of anything interesting, i.e. everything is about work, partners, studies (primarily because most people I have contact with only speak of these things without putting much thought)

I too wish I could find people to study topics of interest to me, but I haven't done it because playing video games all day everyday provides a nice little escape from having to do what I should.


Wait what, that's not how autism works. Autistic people have desires...



Regardless, being bad at social interaction doesn't make him autistic.


Eh, you'll never find interesting conversation from normal people, even super rich people are just stupid normal person scum that talk about a slightly different variation of the work, money, hobby, play bullsoykaf. Honestly, isn't the lack of good conversation in meatspace why your here?


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I recommend getting into philosophy (Aristotle, nietzsche, Marx, Stirner, or any notable muckrackers/academic socialists, etc), or at least listening to Christopher Hitchens rant on youtube. It's therapy for the thinking mind. You'll never meet geniuses, and with your inferior IQ you are unlikely to befriend them, but you can read.their books and feel connected to them. Separated by time philosophers have had a great chain of conversation that has never ended, as each has replied to one another for over 2000 years, and you are free to listen in at any time you like to their great conversations. Philosophy is deeper than politics and more honest, for real.