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lainchan archive - /feels/ - 11268

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Hi, I've been having this idea for a while. I wanted to collect stories of people who were raised by single parents, be it by choice of the mother or the father ducking out, hell, even those were loving parents were killed leaving the kid with just the mom or the dad.

I want to use these stories and through social media make people aware of the issues of single motherhood, especially when it's by choice. I was considering asking people to record themselves talking about their experiences so people can hear the hurt and anger that comes from knowing your mother kept your father away from you or just doesn't know who your father is or that your dad just walked out and make a youtube channel.

I know if I can help even one child not suffer from what I went through, then I think this project would be worth it.

Anyone interested in my project? Anyone here raised by a single mother and want to share or vent? I'm starting with a few chan sites to see if people are up for it.


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To start off, I'd like to say that I don't really hate my mother. I'm grateful for everything she has done for me in my life: she was the only human being who genuinely wanted me to succeed, and did everything to ensure just that. She sincerely hoped and prayed for me to become a great man.

Yet looking back, I think this was the main cause of my failures through life. Such high expectations were forwarded with hyperprotection and constant restriction of certain liberties, not to mention the idealistic mentality that was being ingrained in the process as well, and that is still actually present in me, and won't be going away any soon, if ever.

I guess that is the main problem with single motherhood - the mother's anxiety about everything, combined with everything aforementioned creates a combustible mixture of dependency on your mother, ineptitude at the most basic things, lack of confidence, reliance on the opinion of others and a constant, gnawing feeling that you're letting your family down, your mother down. The person that's been responsible for raising your miserable ass in the first place is feeling bad because of you. ''"Why can't you enroll at the best university in your country? You have got everything for that. Just try a little bit harder!"'' - Limits are basically nonexistant for you. You can do it, it's just that you're lazy. And everything has to be ideal. And no matter if you realise such logical fallacies or not, they'll remain, they won't go away. Ironically, such upbringing is full of mutually exclusive paragraphs, which wouldn't grant success to anybody in the long run, and mother's efforts would be futile - but it doesn't matter, as long as you, lovely son, is around her, alive and well, physically, at least. (Which is yet another logical inconsistency, by the way.)

Thinking of my mother even further, I can't remember her gratifying me in any way for my achievements, yet I clearly remember her rebuking, chiding and scolding me for every mistake and blunder. Other than that, she was really caring, as I've already said, hyperprotective. But still, I can't hate her.

The only sentence that comes to mind is "She tried". I'm sure I'm not the first, nor the last to have been brought up in such a way. As long as the ideal mother image remains to be equal to one of hen's that's protecting its eggs, there will be more such lost causes as me, many more.

**My grammar might as well suck, as English isn't my mother tongue, but I hope that my message remains clear.**


Dad was never really in the picture in my life but we've met a few times. He was a gambler and generally didn't have anything good going for him. I look like him so I was always a sort of black sheep in the family. Have an older brother. He dropped out of school and did a bunch of things. Generally wasn't really liked by most in the family. Shift of responsibility. My reason to do well in school was to be loved and I didn't mind living for that. Not particularly smart or hardworking though but I tried my best and did decently in school. No matter how much I do though, my mom always liked my older brother more who looked like her(where as I looked like my dad) and was generally better looking than me. I lost the reason to do well in school and eventually quit going to school as well in my junior year of high school. Now a garbage NEET who is mostly dead inside. I only haven't killed myself because I find it to be a waste to die this early when I'm not suffering from extreme physical sickness or something that makes it hard to do normal things. Also because death is scary. I have few interests but I can't find it in me to do anything since there's no long term benefit from investing time into anything if there's no long term to be had.


Both of my parents were cheating, and they were never really serious about getting in a relationship, at least from what my mother has told me, which isn't something I'd delve into since it's a touchy topic.

So I was raised by my mother, but my infancy was also spent most of the time with my grandparents. Not the best people, my grandmother is very fanatical about her religion, and my grandfather both forgetful and overall bad at educating and raising, but my grandmother was really caring.

My upbringing definitely shaped me in ways that are hard to describe. I truly enjoy cheating and getting away with petty stuff unnoticed, though it's something I don't do often, mostly in college. I have a hard time getting the willpower, to get things done, mostly doing things until I get really bored. Regardless, getting into the specifics and their cause is best left for another day.

I sometimes feel like the lack of a real father in my life when his presence is most important has shaped my lack. I feel unable to stand for myself in situations where I have to face others. No guidance when it comes to the opposite sex, I am very shy when it comes to making friends with women, but not completely unable to.

My father didn't form much part in my life until recently, since he now wants me to lead his business when he retires, something I am not interested in, much in part because it will undoubtedly lead me to have a similar lifestyle to his. I despise him, only cares about money and he doesn't give much of a soykaf about the several children he has left from cheating on his wife so many times. Complete hypocrite, just a businessman to me.

Use a fuarrrking condom. If you can't raise a child with both parents and are still in time to abort, do it. It is preferable to being unable to give your child a proper upbringing.