To start off, I'd like to say that I don't really hate my mother. I'm grateful for everything she has done for me in my life: she was the only human being who genuinely wanted me to succeed, and did everything to ensure just that. She sincerely hoped and prayed for me to become a great man.
Yet looking back, I think this was the main cause of my failures through life. Such high expectations were forwarded with hyperprotection and constant restriction of certain liberties, not to mention the idealistic mentality that was being ingrained in the process as well, and that is still actually present in me, and won't be going away any soon, if ever.
I guess that is the main problem with single motherhood - the mother's anxiety about everything, combined with everything aforementioned creates a combustible mixture of dependency on your mother, ineptitude at the most basic things, lack of confidence, reliance on the opinion of others and a constant, gnawing feeling that you're letting your family down, your mother down. The person that's been responsible for raising your miserable ass in the first place is feeling bad because of you. ''"Why can't you enroll at the best university in your country? You have got everything for that. Just try a little bit harder!"'' - Limits are basically nonexistant for you. You can do it, it's just that you're lazy. And everything has to be ideal. And no matter if you realise such logical fallacies or not, they'll remain, they won't go away. Ironically, such upbringing is full of mutually exclusive paragraphs, which wouldn't grant success to anybody in the long run, and mother's efforts would be futile - but it doesn't matter, as long as you, lovely son, is around her, alive and well, physically, at least. (Which is yet another logical inconsistency, by the way.)
Thinking of my mother even further, I can't remember her gratifying me in any way for my achievements, yet I clearly remember her rebuking, chiding and scolding me for every mistake and blunder. Other than that, she was really caring, as I've already said, hyperprotective. But still, I can't hate her.
The only sentence that comes to mind is "She tried". I'm sure I'm not the first, nor the last to have been brought up in such a way. As long as the ideal mother image remains to be equal to one of hen's that's protecting its eggs, there will be more such lost causes as me, many more.
**My grammar might as well suck, as English isn't my mother tongue, but I hope that my message remains clear.**