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lainchan archive - /feels/ - 8905



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No.8905

There's a sad vibe in all imageboards.
In all the music I listen.
In all the things I think, write, do...
Do I enjoy being sad? Do people on the internet enjoy being sad? Is it just a trait that most imageboard's autists have, being melancholic?

  No.8906

>>8905
Often people mistake sadness for being genuine, thus they seek it in some vain attempt to be above others, to be "aware"

  No.8908

I wouldn't call myself melancholic.
I suppose I'm apathetic about most anything except my interests, which are covered by Lainchan, but that simply means I'm in the right place.

  No.8909

Are you sad, OP?

If you are, that'd explain your experience tint.

  No.8911

File: 1482736840017.png (366.9 KB, 153x200, mQ8cjyB.jpg)

I used to be very depressed, or at least apathetic.

I'm very happy now, even though not tremendously much has changed, from an outside perspective. I've realized I'm much more interested in the pursuit and action of things, as the pleasures of attaining them are only temporary. I live now in the moment and in the future, and not in the past.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
- Lao Tzu

Of course, it is true that I am a little anxious, but I've managed to managed that with a healthy dose of post-structuralism and optimistic nihilism.

Figure out who you want to be, what you want to do, and what makes you laugh, smile, fires off your adrenaline, and is reasonably sustainable for as long as you'd like it to be. If this means an anime girl, then give it a goddamned shot. If it means James Bond, buy a suit you can't afford and a parachute and give it hell. If it means hacking the CIA, spend every minute you can dedicating yourself to it. You won't change in a day, but if you fight for being the person who you'd like to be, even if that's as simple as a happier version of you, you'll be at least occupied by the goal until you're successful.

And if you're happy by being sad, if that's how you want to be, then continue as such.

  No.8912

>>8905
I understand what you mean. Melancholy is almost comforting, in a way, because I surround myself with so much of it. At the same time I'm generally a very well-content and happy person because this melancholy is removed from myself. Meaning, it's all in the form of art or media rather than arising because of my own life. I think it's similar to how humor works in that sense.

  No.8914

Being sad is for cool people... Thats why im sad.

  No.8915

>>8905
Life is a variety of feelings. If you can only feel one feeling all the time is abnormal but, you probably haven't resolved the thing that has you feeling that way. You might not be sad but reflective, or concerned, or nostalgic, or uneased. Get used to your feelings and do this, this, this, x100 >>8911


In the case for imageboards, posters have no obligation to mask strong feelings, so you get what you will. Even if i said that "average people are happy" that would be an average where massive amounts of data are lost. Average people where? at what time? Who specifically? If one made a imageboard for sad or happy or angry posters any human being would be able to go there and post. Aversions aside.

  No.8919

File: 1482782586055.png (462.53 KB, 200x110, snow.jpg)

I think it's just the vibe of the era. I mean, how many of us really know what we're doing right now? How many know what they're working towards? The answer is, very few. If you're on this site, you probably spend almost all of your free time on the internet. This was inconceivable even twenty years ago. We spend most of that time in comfort, being surrounded by pleasure, but when something in that chain wears out, we have no clue what to think or do.

Plus, there's an odd pleasure in sadness. Happiness takes effort to maintain, but sadness is open to everyone, and has a lot of depth to it. Remember that Tolstoy quote: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." In our lifestyles nowadays, where the world is changing permanently in ways we don't understand, and where those old life-affirming values are losing their eminence, sadness comes easily. And it's often more rewarding than trying to be happy.

I don't stay sad because there's no certainty it's the real truth, but rather the flip-side of the coin. Buddhism seems to understand a lot about this subject, so I've been looking there lately.

  No.8920

>>8905
I think image boards have kind of a somber, lonely feeling, but I wouldn't describe it is sad. It's hard because even when you are talking to people on here, it's hard to truly see it as another person, if that makes sense. On some subconscious level your mind doesn't treat it like being around some one in person, and that is always present when talking online, but I think it's worsened by the lack of any one consistent person, if that makes sense.

You'll never know how many different people are there, you'll never know if two different things are the same person, it's like just saying something to some one as you pass them by, knowing nothing about the person besides what they are currently saying, and never knowing anything of them after. I can see that as feeling really sad.

That being said, I don't like being sad, I hate it, actually, but the somber lonely feeling can be very comforting. Being alone in a dark room at night, talking to people as they pass by is a comforting experience, if that's not all you do.

  No.8921

It's probably anxiety.

  No.8922

>>8919
"This was inconceivable even twenty years ago."

ahahahahahahah you wot?

Eh. None of this is anything new; usenet, irc and forums all came before the endless sea of chans and the almost requisite melancholy has more or less been a permanent fixture the whole damn time.

Sometimes you grow out of it, sometimes you kill yourself, sometimes you just keep on wallowing in it, and sometimes like a pig in soykaf you enjoy it.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  No.8932

>>8922
Alright then, thirty or thirty-five years ago. The exact span of time is insignificant.

  No.8942

File: 1482902946665.png (113.73 KB, 194x200, 7d05d1898f6b290a7f5123269b27ec68.jpg)

The myth of sysaphus comes to mind.

I am happy to roll this boulder. I seek ubiquitous immortality, I know what direction to go and have set my course. I will roll this boulder straight up this hill until I have ground it to dust or destroyed myself. Death is a disease, cure it. Extinction is coming, fight it.

That is all.

  No.9046

File: 1483266920709.png (705.87 KB, 200x133, 8210532432_8362372408_k.jpg)

>>8905
It's perhaps a form of privilege I can afford for myself, but I find sadness and melancholy to be incredibly comfortable. I've been mildly depressed for most of my life, occasionally having breakdowns where I sort of stop functioning, maybe once or twice a year, for a length of time from a day to a week, more likely to happen if I'm especially stressed. During those times I end up crying quite a bit, but it's not really unpleasant, it's sort of an exhaust valve. It's tiring, yet also restorative. It probably combines well with low self-esteem, a feeling of righteousness in the situation, of deserving it, thus being comfortable in it.

However, even away from those episodes, which is by far most of the time, when I'm perfectly functional, relaxed and productive, if I'm feeling tired or stressed at the end of a day I enjoy consuming media that makes me sad. It just gives a sense of peace, like a good joint. It makes me smile a little, if that makes sense.

  No.9048

>>8920
Yeah. Sometimes when I read old threads, it will take me a moment to realize that the comment I'm reading was written by me.

>>8905

I don't enjoy being sad. I spend a lot of time like that. I'm an incredibly anxious person by default. Before I started taking medication for it, it was unmanageable. One time, I hid under a chair for almost an hour in the middle of a public area, in some desperate attempt to feel comfortable or safe.

  No.9050

File: 1483285755021.png (954.39 KB, 200x113, 1454771279476.jpg)

Sadness seems like the most natural thing to be. I'm alienated by the bright, happy, upbeat people. Is it ignorance? I'm not even sure if I'd rather be happy, because it seems so wrong to feel jolly all day.

  No.9059

>>9050
I think it varies by person. Some people are more inclined to be happy than others. Personally, it always feels like I'm faking it, and sources of happiness look hollow and made-up.

  No.10039

I enjoy being sad. I spend a lot of time listening to depressing or sad music. I sometimes drop acid and let myself cry about whatever it is i want to cry about. I probably cry once a week.

No one i know knows this about me, i always seem to be an upbeat relaxed guy. But i spend a lot of time alone. my bipolar has been getting worse in the past year or two and my mood shifts have been increasingly erratic (partially caused by drug use).

But even when i felt like my bipolar wasnt that bad, i still have waves of sadness crawl over me. It doesnt matter what is happening. Whether i appear to be doing great, whether im feeling the best ive ever felt- i still cry once a week.

When i was younger it disturbed me how often i cried. Society teaches you to be ashamed to cry, especially as a male (which i am).

But now sadness for me is integral to my experience. It helps relieve my petty frustration with this web i am caught in.

  No.10079

File: 1486431651059.png (58.04 KB, 167x200, 1479766909599.jpg)

I've made that question to myself a lot, seeing how I listen to sad music, read sad books, I ask myself if I enjoy being sad, this state of melancholia, being alone at 4am reading some sad story over the internet while listening to some sad music like jazz.

Maybe it's because I like to feel that I'm alive? I really don't know.

  No.10132

I think this is an uncomfortable question that most people are afraid to ask themselves. I get sad now and then, maybe more than the average person, and if i'm being painfully honest with myself i kind of enjoyed it. I liked the isolation, I liked the community of places like imageboards.... but truthfully I knew that if I really wanted I could 'snap' out of the sadness and go back to a somewhat normal life.

But then in December, for the first time I remember, I actually grew truly, properly, sad. Before, when I'd been sad I'd had something of a reason, but this came out of seemingly nowhere. It was a really heavy, deep-seated, chemical sadness. Because I wasn't sad over anything, it was almost as if I could feel my dopamine levels physcially depleting. That sadness, which most would classify depression, was genuinely unshakeable and left me feeling awful and helpless for about two months. That, I hated that sadness. I did not find any community or secret joy from that sadness, I just wanted it to end.

I've been taking tablets and my lifestyle has changed quite radically since then so I'm feeling better than I was, and I'm grateful. I think this is where the big confusion between people who have never experienced depression and people with depression arises. When people tell others to "just be positive" or "you just need an attitude change" - they say these things because these things DO work when THEY are sad. But they don't quite realise how entrenched and unshakeable depression is. It's not regular sadness.

SO... I think the majority of people online who wallow in self pity are regular sad, which they are allowed to be, but they are people who otherwise go about their lives more or less normally. I do think, however, that the internet appeals to a disproportionally high amount of legitamtely depressed people too.

  No.10136

The first thing I recall about imageboards was how odd and amusing they were. As in ten years ago. This gave way to lonely people posting about being sad and I can name certain boards on certain sites as original scapegoats but the why of it is beyond me.

This place isn' t especially funny and none of the others still in existence seem worth visiting at all. Even the porny ones seem wastelands now. Users who didn't abandon the imageboard scene seem to have internalized the concept that we're all lonely and sad (and lots of us actually are) so it's become the language we use.

  No.10138

>>10136
PS. I did really mean porny as in a made up adjective related to pornography. I squinted at my own post and saw "pony" as in little horses and didn't want to take any chances; clop in hell, etc

  No.10139

File: 1486685938404.png (252.02 KB, 200x150, 1479913250572.jpg)

>>10079
>Maybe it's because I like to feel that I'm alive?
I think this it with me too. I love to feel emotions maybe because they are rare to me.

  No.10141

File: 1486689785538.png (485.19 KB, 200x113, doges.jpg)

>>8905
>Do I enjoy being sad?
Tell us, Lain.
>Do people on the internet enjoy being sad?
I doubt people enjoy the emotion, but expressing oneself emotionally is considered healthy and it's easy for many to express themselves honestly when those expressions are not pinned to their persistent identity.
>Is it just a trait that most imageboard's autists have, being melancholic?
Considering the constant stream of poor quality, reactionary information and social isolation that most imageboard users are subjected to on a daily basis, I'd say it's par the course.

Consider it an emotional reaction to emotional stimuli, not an inherent trait.

  No.10143

>>10132
This is a really insightful post. I've spent much of the past few years in a state similar to your initial state of sadness, and what you write matches my experience perfectly. I always have things that weigh me down, but I have to take a willful step in my mind before I think and act "sad". I enter this state because it's comfortable and brings some pleasure, and is much easier to navigate mentally than happiness, which is probably foreign to most of us. Even though I've been through some justifiable low points, I could never bring myself to call my problem Depression since the differences between them are just too massive.

  No.10144

>>8905
>Do I enjoy being sad?
I do, but I'm terribly depressive.

  No.10148

when sadness is familiar, sadness is comfortable. upon being happy, when i lost that happiness i thought "i knew i should have stayed sad. I knew this happiness was too good to be true. I wish those good things never happened to me so i wouldnt know what i lost".

and thats when i knew i found comfort in being sad, and thankfully i had distanced myself so much from it for long enough to where that comfort was gone. if youve lost a lot in your life, and maybe you dont think you have so really think not the extent to which you experienced loss but the amount, you fear it more than anything and the safest way to avoid it is to never have anything that makes you happy as you might and will lose it someday. maybe a parent died or left and you always told yourself you were too young at the time for it to matter. maybe you had a friend abandon you and you said that happens to everyone and its not a big deal. you lost a home, a thing, something important. bullied or made fun of, had your dreams and passions ridiculed. i think thats why you notice this feeling on imageboards, because the imageboard is a replacement for something to the people that inhabit it. if they always had people near to them and a stable home and love they wouldnt need something like this, they might have those things now but i think everyone here has experienced some kind of suffering in the past or present. big or small, sometimes small problems can be worse for you. A gash untreated will kill you fairly quickly. A small cut untreated can infect and poison your bloodstream while you slowly die without even knowing whats killing you.

  No.10151

>>8905
It's a self-selecting data-set. But I will mention that diet likely plays a large part.

  No.10152

>>10144
hey Lain lets talk about ourselves to each other over a day at a cafe or library. then we can punctuate the visit with a kiss. how does that sound?

  No.10153

File: 1486759310459.png (781.34 KB, 200x134, RkeezA0.jpg)

>>8911
this is a good post, Case
>>8919
>I think it's just the vibe of the era. I mean, how many of us really know what we're doing right now? How many know what they're working towards? The answer is, very few. If you're on this site, you probably spend almost all of your free time on the internet. This was inconceivable even twenty years ago. We spend most of that time in comfort, being surrounded by pleasure, but when something in that chain wears out, we have no clue what to think or do.
truths. The internet itself is part of it, and the socioeconomic prospects of our doomed generation.
>>8920
aesthetic

  No.10332

>>10141
I don't know if I enjoy being sad. Perhaps I just am.
It might also be that I'm in my comfort zone

  No.10386

>>10152
Sounds fuarrrking good to me

  No.10405

>>9050
Sadness is the only thing I like about technology.
Natural life is usually enjoyable, while being alone, stressed, procrastinating at 4am reading some greentext thread on wizardchan, /x/ or /feels/, giving up on your attempts to fix your sleeping schedule, drinking some cancerous carbonated garbage, listening to some depressing obscure music you got from some lonely imageboard's /mu/, or a desert internet radio station from somewhere far away and forgetting for a night about the self-hatred society makes you feel, that's something only our current civilization can provide.

I found that a very good source of happiness (truer happiness than mere pleasure) are the friends one makes when one's sad and meets a similarly sad peer. Sadness also brings thought, and thought brings truths.

>>9050
I've yet to meet a happy upbeat person that's intelectually interesting, aside from hobos, hitchhikkers and other people living alternative lifstyles.
>>10132
>But they don't quite realise how entrenched and unshakeable depression is. It's not regular sadness.
This applies to my post. I don't know much about depression as I've never been depressed for more than a couple minutes at a time. I tackle the reasons right away.
>>10148
>I wish those good things never happened to me so i wouldnt know what i lost
Another way to cope with this is working towards not attaching yourself too much to finite things. And keep in mind that the things you are attached to now are perishable, and enjoy them as such.
>the imageboard is a replacement for something to the people that inhabit it. if they always had people near to them and a stable home and love they wouldnt need something like this
In my case, if I had a friend to talk with about sad stuff I probably wouldn't be here.
>A gash untreated will kill you fairly quickly.
About this, you can "psychoanalyze yourself" to get to the cause of your anguish, in some cases you'll stop feeling anxious or depressed once you get to the underlying reason and be just sad.

  No.10425

I don't experience sadness. To be sad is pretty entry level soykaf. If you haven't already replaced it with anger you need to step up your game.

Just look at r9k. You see less and less woe is me threads and are starting to see the rage break through the cracks. Sadness leads to apathy, anger leads to change.

You can only be sad about things you can't change directly or indirectly. Like a family members death.

  No.10428

>>10425
sometimes I wonder if this is the right thing to do? thats how i have always coped as well, i guess it works but sometimes i feel bad about it. like hating my ex or something, i actually learned a lot from her and the breakup wasnt bad. but my only way to cope is anger and to hate her for leaving.

what if i could like forgive or something instead and not be sad or angry? idk, for now im with you though.

  No.10438

>>10425
>You can only be sad about things you can't change directly or indirectly
> To be sad is pretty entry level soykaf. If you haven't already replaced it with anger you need to step up your game.
Ow le edge.


You can change anything, but some lines you just can't cross. Some things you can't do, even if they're "possible". When you hit that line but still hold onto that desire to cross it, you get angry or sad. In a way, to be patient is to embrace that bitterness. To cope is to keep going without the bitterness swaying your actions.

>>10428
Nothing's wrong with feelings but, don't get so into them that you're steered by your feelings. Cope as much as you need to, but forgive at some point. If you dont it might affect later relationships.

  No.10780

File: 1488937524678.png (159.97 KB, 200x134, large.jpg)

I really like feeling sad sometimes it makes me feel more aware of what is around but then I feel like crap by just listening LO-FI songs nonstop, it makes me feel tired and lazy that's why I only listen LO-FI while trying to sleep

I hate rainy and cold days,Listening what is happening in the world, reading depressing and sad threads in image boards but I feel that the world more real when I do this.

  No.10788

There's one nirvana lyric I never really understood until recently, "I miss the comfort of being sad".
I suffer from depression, and this made 0 sense to me. Why would someone want to be sad? Isn't sadness by definition negative?
But now, I'm on new meds and it may seem strange but it's very hard for me to feel sad, even when things happen that I should be sad about like people I know dying. It is true, the range of emotions is just too much it is not comfortable or deep, happiness is basically a drug that keeps you feeling good at the surface but not content on a deeper level.
There is so much more depth to negative emotions, there isn't just blanket sadness, there's temporary sadness, melancholia, doom, pain (emotional and physical), heartbreak, depression, apathy and a bunch more in between that I don't have words for. When you're happy you're just happy. Sadness is much more introspective and interesting. So much great art is created out of negative emotions, it comes down to one simple fact: being happy is boring and shallow. They say ignorance is bliss, so that means that the more you know, the more you are going to see that truly the world is a negative place, and the more you can accept that the more interesting your life can be I think.
Look at it this way, imagine you could take a pill that meant you are in a constant state of bliss and could never be sad. Would you do it? Chances are no, because negativity is an important part of the human experience. Without negativity there would never be change, no one could ever feel truly fulfilled. So I really do miss the comfort of being sad. To the point where I purposefully isolate myself, and don't take my meds just because I'm sick of the surface level bullsoykaf that is a constant lack of negative emotion.

  No.10806

>>10788
I agree with you. Around the end of last year and beginning of this year, I hit a hard period of apathy. Feelings of annoyance or anger actually please me a bit because they're so much better than feeling nothing.

  No.11282

>>10788
I don't think that happiness is shallow. Anger and sadness seem more full because you become more introspective: your head needs to identify the things that are harming you, and either adapt around or fight against them.
I love my family, and spending time with them makes me happy, but I don't consider those to times to be shallow and meaningless. The emptiness we feel might be related to ourselves acknowledging the fact that we thrive for hapiness because it's a primal necesity, and not because it serves a purpouse.
Sadness is analytic, happines is not.