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lainchan archive - /lit/ - 3933



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No.3933

I am interested in books about, boosting confidece, finding inner self, nlp, eft, and becoming alpha male(not pua shit). I`m sure other lainanons do as well. I have torrented some shits about it but i feel dissatisfied.Let`s help each other.

  No.3934

>>3933
>becoming alpha male

You're looking for the wrong thing.

  No.3935

>>3933
>Implying you'll ever be an alpha
>Implying canine / otter social hierarchies map well with human dynamics
>Implying you'll get anywhere comparing yourself with others and trying to become the right, ideal, best, or whatever, man

Not a useful frame of mind. You're in for only a new variation of the discomfort and misery you started with.

  No.3936

>>3935
>>3934
If you don`t believe it feel free to sage and hide. I do believe it, and I believe it`s something mental, and related with courage.I`m still waiting for help, btw the definitive book of body language is pretty long but also good enough to serve us.

  No.3937

>>3935
And no I dont compare myself, just enjoy the moment.

  No.3938

I suppose nlp is not natural language processing, but then what is it?

  No.3939

>>3938
Neuro linguistic programming

  No.3940

All meaningless words. You're better off researching behaviourism and postmodern semiotics to realize all is merely transiently symbolic discourse. People subconicously respond to whatever set of physical signifiers and social tropes are currently in use. To convincingly reproduce these memetic communicatants at the level of physicality requires exposure to them, so there's not much you'll get from text.

Sage, cause you're a silly child.

  No.3941

>>3933
The others were quite needlessly condescending towards you due your usage of "alpha male", even though you did specify that you are not thinking about PUA stuff. Either way, the very notion of an alpha male for humans is far beyond ridiculous, seeing how our different subcultures desire different characteristics in the leaders, and you can't possibly have them all when they are directly contradictory.

EFT and even more so, NLP are just slightly more usable things like hypnosis due to their abstract nature and unreliability which stems from exaggeration of results. There is no such thing, and will never be a such thing as "inner self" that exists outside of present moment and can be found. It is possible to learn things about yourself, but beyond the abstract notion of "being more in touch with yourself", it has no actual use.

The reason why most books on these topics leave you dissatisfied is that it is all either see-through bullshit that doesn't work, or might work in one out of a hundred cases, or it's the reality, which means that it is slow, boring, and the only results you yield are self-assigned targets.

Ultimately, that is all that is possible, because there are no shortcuts or easy ways of doing these things. If there were, a bit more people would be doing them, and they would be much more well known, don't you think?

There are some books that could be useful for general confidence boosting, the aforementioned books on body language, with the reminder that they describe just the most common cases, and that most of communication is so nuanced that it helps only on the surface level, and the age old "How to Win Friends and Influence People", which is an old book, but if you adjust the ideas for the modern times, it is still a useful bunch of information.

  No.3942

>becoming alpha male(not pua shit)
The alpha male meme is PUA shit.

  No.3943

>>3941
Book I had read about “self improvment” and becoming alpha was usually pua shit I understand other anons concerns, but I just think the term is bastardized by people who want to gain money by selling hope.

Also why focus one negative thing?I ask this to others, nobody has to agree all things you say. Still I will be more than happy if we guys help each other. I had read the book you have said, there are valid points which still applies.

I feel satisfied with book of pook,what every body is saying.Thanks for contribution

  No.3944

>>3933
it's quite easy, really. you just need to become richer, more popular, stronger, smarter, luckier, and more arrogant than most other people. get that done, and you're an alpha male. since by then you'll be good in anything, you'll be confident.
inner self is a linguistic glitch, it doesn't mean anything. if you put it in the sentence "i have found my inner self" it means that you're not experiencing anger, disgust, apathy or stuff like that regarding your current situation. you can pretty much achieve it by not thinking about your current situation.
thanks for stopping by.

  No.3945

>>3944
Thank you very much, instead of others I do actually improve by interacting.

  No.3946

>>3936
>I`m still waiting for help
There's your problem. Help ain't coming kid. You're on your own.

The other lainons are right that books won't really help. There's no substitute for experience. You need to go and fail. Go out there and get your ass kicked all over the goddamn room. Put every last pint of sweat, blood and tears into something and then fuck it up royally. That'll teach you what you need to know.

  No.3947

>>3946
ultimately this would be it.

Want to prepare for the real world? Work out, practice your social skill, read and get educated, move up in your job, eat healthy.
What helps me is hearing cheesy motivational speeches I found in youtube, like those of Les Brown. I don't make them my life though, I just kind of have them in the background, and they kind of help me keep going.

I'd suggest you priorize: what do you want more? a girl? a successful career? respect from your peers? a healthy body?
List them in order of priority, and then for each list what is likely to get you there. Then write your fears or insecurities and figure out how to work with each. Then, well, just do it. There's always something you can do. Whether it is look up something healthy to cook, go for a walk, talk to a stranger, do a couple of reps (pushups or w/e).
And keep doing it.
And don't daydream. Don't see yourself already having a bodybuilder physique, rather acknowlendge that you're working on X and that every step counts.
Cheerio

  No.3948

>>3933
>inner self

You are your inner self. You have only one self. There's nothing else there. Your brain doesn't have a second brain in it waiting to get out.

>NLP


Pure pseudoscience. You might as well take Scientology classes.

>EFT


Had to look this one up. Google says it's someone touching your face to relieve emotional problems.

You can't make this shit up.

>alpha male


There are confident, successful people, but humans have never had strict hierarchies like that in their ancestral environments. Chimps do. You can look at both and see the difference.

>why won't anyone help me


Because you're asking the wrong questions, with the wrong motivation, and nobody else in this thread yet is as credulous as you. Someone will probably come along later, but you should ignore them and instead research the following things:

>Cognitive behavioral therapists near you

>Being confident and outgoing
>Basic conversation skills

This will help you much more in the long term than psuedoscientific bullshit.

  No.3949

I think NLP is not pseudoscience but a buzzword used to sell books. And which is just a principle that we all know already:
what you tell yourself determines your outcome in life.
aka if you believe you can do it you can do it
aka you are what you consume
aka your destiny is in your hands
it has been told in a zillion ways, now they say "NLP" because it sounds good in our day filled with tecnology and acronyms. It has the word programming in it. So you should ask about it in /λ/ :^)

  No.3950


  No.3951

>>3933
It's good that you realized pua is shit. How long have you been interested in this?

  No.3952

>>3949
>what you tell yourself determines your outcome in life.
This is total bullshit in the long run. Your expectations don't create or determine outcomes - only actual ability does. There isn't ever a free lunch.

  No.3953

>>3952
That just shows you don't understand the meaning.
I mean if you decide you want to have all the bitches and that goal is constantly in your mind, you'll work towards that goal all the time. Oly if you believe you can of course

  No.3954

>>3953
You just responded agreeing with them, but as though you were arguing.

  No.3955

>>3954
It's tough to be credulous in a world that only values skeptical reasoning, cut her some slack. She might be a new lain.

Maybe if it doesn't work out here, she'll get into a universe in the Wired where intention is action and hope makes the Happitrees fruit.

  No.3956

>>3955
>It's tough to be credulous in a world that only values skeptical reasoning
The world doesn't value skepticism proper, it values dogma and social conformance. Most people who call themselves "skeptics" are actually some of the most myopic, authority, and faith driven individuals you'll ever meet. It really is ironic.

>Maybe if it doesn't work out here, she'll get into a universe in the Wired where intention is action and hope makes the Happitrees fruit.

Hopefully they eventually use it as something to branch from while iterating towards an accurate model of reality, and themselves.

  No.3957

>>3951
Interested in what?Pua?For a month then I realized it's a bullshit that ruins our potential.

  No.4714

>>3933
>becoming alpha male
alpha males don't read books on how to become alpha males

  No.4716


  No.4720

>>3934
>>3935
These guys said everything that needs to be said.

>>3940
Another good post.

>>3942
Good point.

>>3946
Another great post.

>>3948
Amazing post.
>Your brain doesn't have a second brain in it waiting to get out.
Except this part. There is a second brain waiting in there, silent, ever observing...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfYbgdo8e-8

I'm proud of you /lit/! nb cause stupid thread.

  No.4752

>>3933
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson

Here's something marginally more useful to OP than shooting The Point over his head.