You pick up the torch and call out
"Hey! Anyone there?"
The footsteps grow ever-nearer
They're getting louder
"Okay, well I know someone's there now"
"Seriously, have you not heard of the art of conversing with a fellow fellow?"
Okay now this is getting ridiculous the footsteps are practically in your vicinity
"I hear the footsteps clearer than I hear my own thoughts why the hell is no one answering my calls fo-"
"Hello" You look down, and a creature, about half your size, covered in rags, greets you. "I am Euclinius, the dwarf. I am one of the guardians of this maze. What seek you?"
"Oh, Hey Euclinius. I was just wondering. I think I took a wrong turn with the two creatures that lie (or don't)... Any way I could go back?"
"Wait... You went the wrong way and are still alive?"
"Was I not supposed to?"
"No! Not at all! You survived the Chamber of Poisonous Agony unscathed!" He takes a good luck at you, "well... relatively unscathed... You get a chance to see the fire-breathing cobras?" He asks, clearly curious as to what happened to your clothes
"Uh... Yup! The firebreathing cobras! Sure cobra'd my way out of that one, that's for sure." -Euclinius clearly sees through your soykaf
"As for the poisonous chamber... Where was that? I kind of held my breath for a long time and just woke up somehwere else, I guess?"
"You cleared one of the most treacherous rooms in the dungeon by holding your nose?"
"Okay, to my credit I held it for like a minute. Maybe two... That's a lot!"
"Well, anyway", Euclinius says, clearly wanting to get you the hell out of his goddamn corridor because god damn, he's been having a rough week and a dumbass with internet access in a maze sure as hell isn't making his job any easier,
"I must congratulate your progress so far, yet this may be as far as you go, for you see, though I may not have a challenge as the Twins outside did, I know this maze better than they. Before you lie three paths"
"Wait before you go any further, you aren't lying to me when you say three"
"...No... I'm not. Let me finish"
"Oh, okay. Because like, those two guys out back really pulled a fast one on me"
"Yes, I know"
"Like, it was really something to behold. I did not see it coming AT ALL!"
"Look, you really don't need to go into -"
"So now, it's like, really hard for me to trust people. Because apparently, I would have died if I didn't pass out from being an idiot!"
"...May I finish"
"Oh yeah go ahead"
"Straight ahead lies the Kingdom of Ice. Beware the ruthless tundra and the menaces it presents.
To your left lies the Fire Chamber. Only one with a true heart and the courage of a hero may proceed through it,
And to your right lies a nearby 7-11. It won't really do much for you adventure-wise, but I just thought it'd be cool of me to let you know it's there if you need a break"
"Wait... Did you say there's a 7-11 nearby? It's not haunted or anything... is it?"
"Uh...........Probably not">It probably is