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lainchan archive - /r/ - 29699



File: 1489027966343-0.png (23.2 KB, 255x300, Fuck! - Cutman.jpg)

File: 1489027966343-1.png (190.19 KB, 158x300, PANIC!!!.gif)

No.29699

“Why Hello there, Foolish Mortal,” a pair of creatures greet me as I approach a fork in the maze, “we are the guardians of this part of the maze. To go beyond, you will need to overcome a challenge”

“Let’s hear it!” I respond giddily.

“Before you lie two paths. One leads to the route you desire,” one of them starts

“And the other leads to certain doom,” the other continues. “We will give you information about the paths before you, but at a cost. One of us will always tell the truth,”

“And the other will always tell a lie”


Aha!, I think to myself. I could outsmart them by asking them about a simple question and using process of elimination to find the correct one! Wait… I need to know if there’s a limit of questions I can ask them… I certainly don’t want there to be any unforeseen consequences, do I?

“Wait,” I begin, “I can ask you guys more than one question and nothing bad is going to happen to happen, right?”


“Yes”

“No”


fuarrrk

What do?

  No.29700

Ask: "Is the force applied to an object equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration?"

  No.29701

File: 1489029730645.png (41.05 KB, 200x113, This place sucks!.jpg)

>>29700
But here's the thing, I don't know if I can ask other questions, or if they'll tell me the truth or not if I do.

Besides, they could both say "no" to your question because it's the "net" force that equals M*a

--It's at this point that the creatures are getting impatient--
"And before you get any funny ideas, don't think we don't know the classic 'what's the other going to say' trick. Some wise guy pulled that on us the other week and the guy in charge ordered us to stay silent when we're asked that again"

--Waiting for your next move, the creatures are now visibly irritated. By the looks of it, you could probably ask them one or two more questions max before they get angry. --

  No.29704

File: 1489040296533.png (15.85 KB, 200x196, 827cc9610c65383346f59119ac3587b2dec73c9ed9be9727d9b57056825d2682.jpg)

wouldn't you just ask something obvious? "There are two paths before me, correct?" or "How many heads do you have?" One will tell the obvious truth and the other, the lie. Easy peasy, Lain.

  No.29706

File: 1489041554861.png (226.86 KB, 200x200, smug anime girl.gif)

>>29704
"Okay... There are two paths before me, correct?"

"Yes", says the creature on the right
"No", Says the creature on the left

>Oh sweet. Now I know the one on the right tells the truth!--


"Alright then, which path will bring me closer to the end of this maze?"

"The one to your left" says the creature on the right
"Definitely not that one," says the other one.

"Well, I'll be seeing you!"

You begin to take a step into the corridor on your left, and a few steps in the corridor closes behind you... There's no way out. Oh well, you think to yourself, at least this is the right path right?

  No.29707

File: 1489041630470-0.png (55.17 KB, 200x184, Spontaneous BS.jpg)

File: 1489041630470-1.png (192.86 KB, 200x136, On Second Thought....jpg)

>>29706

You hear the creatures just behind the now-closed corridor speaking to themselves:
"Oh my goodness, did he really think that would work?"
"You know, I didn't he would fall for it, but he did! The absolute fool!"

Wait... You chose the wrong path? How?
You begin to analyze the conversation

>Hello there foolish mortal ....

(both of them said this, so the greeting must be some weird exception)
>Before you lie two paths (You recall that this was the troll on the right)
--"Wait," you think to yourself, "if through some lapse in judgement, it was actually the troll on the right that was the one that lied... That means.... THAT MEANS"
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck....

Not only were there more than two paths... You chose the one to your certain doom...

fuarrrk.

What should you do now?
--a) Mope about, begin writing a song about how you were tricked and maybe kick-start your career as a punk-rock musician
--b) Progress further into the corridor... They were probably exaggerating when they said "certain doom," right?
--c) Something else, perhaps?

  No.29709

File: 1489073594871.png (98.3 KB, 200x113, 7869326.jpg)

>>29707
c)
Use your strong Japanese-American feminist wings to fly away now, fly away now, fly awaaay, a-a-aa-aaway
Before you go, sue the stupid trolls for sexual harassment on the Skynet Law Interface, and let divine judgment befall them!

  No.29710

>>29709
>Use your strong Japanese-American feminist wings to fly away now, fly away now, fly awaaay, a-a-aa-aaway

In an attempt to sprout wings and transform into a fallen angel, you spend a couple of hours trying to find female attire to use as weapons, but to no avail.

You hear the creatures "Wait, is he... singing?"
"Yeah, I think he is..."
"Huh... He hasn't even gotten to the cobras and he's already lost his marbles"

Looks like there'll be no flying away today...

  No.29711

File: 1489087148646.png (626.63 KB, 200x200, BAAAANE.png)

>>29710
Find out why he wears the mask.

  No.29712

File: 1489089276379.png (12.63 KB, 171x200, FourNobleTruths.png)

>>29711
"Hey! Either of you outside wear a mask?"

"Yes"
"No"

"Why do you wear it? Why do you wear the mask?"

"Aren't you supposed to be finding the center of the maze?" they ask through the closed corridor door.

"Yes, but I need to know"

"Alright," one creature, you assume the one on the left, starts, "It began when I was a spry young woodland creature. I fell in love with the most beautiful elf in the forest. One thing led to another, and we began to share our most intimate secrets. It was then I learned the wisdom embedded in the phrase "knowledge is power." What I said to her on that day gave her such an immense power over my being that I could not blame her for what she did afterwards. I will never forget that fateful day, nor will I make the same mistake again. So that, my clueless adventurer, is why I wear the mask"

"Oooh. So the mask is a metaphor for emotional isolation! I get it!"

"No soykaf, Sherlock," they both reply.

"So... You seriously have nothing better to do than NOT go into the fire-breathing cobras?" they ask.
"Wait you have those?"
"Yeah, we do"
"huh..."

>What now?

  No.29715

>>29712
Pinch your nose and try to breath

  No.29718

>>29712
Seeing no way closer to the center of the labyrinth but forward, you pick up a nearby torch and begin your enterprise into the unknown.

Full of determination to get to the end of this, you fearlessly walk through a corridor. You feel like absolutely nothing can stop you! Nothing is going to prevent you from moving forward!

You get bored like three minutes into the walk. For fun, you hold your breath and pinch your nose and see how long you can hold your breath while walking...

15 seconds pass
30 seconds pass
45 seconds pass
60 seconds pass...
75 seconds pass.........
........................
You pass out and fall to the floor just after the 75 second mark.

While unconscious, the torch you had also fell to the ground. The torch fell relatively close to you, and your (unfortunately flammable) clothes begin to burn. Your unconscious body has taken matters into its own hands and decided that it should notify you that you burning is bad, so it wakes you up. Thanks, body!

You scramble to put out the fire, and luckily, not that much was lost except part of your shirt and your dignity.

You hear someone approaching...
>What now?

  No.29772

>>29718
Pick the torch back up and call out in the direction of the footsteps

  No.29790

File: 1489486251987.png (826.42 KB, 200x114, Screen Shot 2014-10-30 at 9.14.42 PM.png)

>>29772
You pick up the torch and call out
"Hey! Anyone there?"
The footsteps grow ever-nearer
"....Anyone?"
They're getting louder
"Okay, well I know someone's there now"
"Seriously, have you not heard of the art of conversing with a fellow fellow?"
Okay now this is getting ridiculous the footsteps are practically in your vicinity
"I hear the footsteps clearer than I hear my own thoughts why the hell is no one answering my calls fo-"


"Hello" You look down, and a creature, about half your size, covered in rags, greets you. "I am Euclinius, the dwarf. I am one of the guardians of this maze. What seek you?"

"Oh, Hey Euclinius. I was just wondering. I think I took a wrong turn with the two creatures that lie (or don't)... Any way I could go back?"

"Wait... You went the wrong way and are still alive?"
"Was I not supposed to?"
"No! Not at all! You survived the Chamber of Poisonous Agony unscathed!" He takes a good luck at you, "well... relatively unscathed... You get a chance to see the fire-breathing cobras?" He asks, clearly curious as to what happened to your clothes

"Uh... Yup! The firebreathing cobras! Sure cobra'd my way out of that one, that's for sure." -Euclinius clearly sees through your soykaf
"As for the poisonous chamber... Where was that? I kind of held my breath for a long time and just woke up somehwere else, I guess?"
"You cleared one of the most treacherous rooms in the dungeon by holding your nose?"
"Okay, to my credit I held it for like a minute. Maybe two... That's a lot!"

"Well, anyway", Euclinius says, clearly wanting to get you the hell out of his goddamn corridor because god damn, he's been having a rough week and a dumbass with internet access in a maze sure as hell isn't making his job any easier,

"I must congratulate your progress so far, yet this may be as far as you go, for you see, though I may not have a challenge as the Twins outside did, I know this maze better than they. Before you lie three paths"

"Wait before you go any further, you aren't lying to me when you say three"

"...No... I'm not. Let me finish"

"Oh, okay. Because like, those two guys out back really pulled a fast one on me"

"Yes, I know"

"Like, it was really something to behold. I did not see it coming AT ALL!"
"Look, you really don't need to go into -"
"So now, it's like, really hard for me to trust people. Because apparently, I would have died if I didn't pass out from being an idiot!"

"...May I finish"
"Oh yeah go ahead"

"Straight ahead lies the Kingdom of Ice. Beware the ruthless tundra and the menaces it presents.
To your left lies the Fire Chamber. Only one with a true heart and the courage of a hero may proceed through it,
And to your right lies a nearby 7-11. It won't really do much for you adventure-wise, but I just thought it'd be cool of me to let you know it's there if you need a break"

"Wait... Did you say there's a 7-11 nearby? It's not haunted or anything... is it?"

"Uh...........Probably not"
>It probably is

>What now?

  No.29797

>>29790
Let's wait until the dwarf leaves (pause in case some other lainon wants to interrupt me to say/do something to him), then open the first two doors a run into the 7-11, close the door, loot it, turn it into a mancave and try to have a nice life there until termodynamics does its thing and leaves us with a Kingdom of Cool-ish and a Kinda-Warm Chamber. The rest of the way might be easier that way.

  No.29798

>>29797
So, I guess "wait until the dwarf leaves, open the first two doors and run into the 7-11, close the door and look around to see what's there"

  No.29819

File: 1489713865572.png (401.46 KB, 200x186, funny-t-rex-arms.png)

>>29798

run into the 7-11, close the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

  No.29829

File: 1489784564126-0.png (1.39 MB, 200x138, Me.gif)

File: 1489784564126-1.png (139.25 KB, 200x200, WurmDance.gif)

>>29798
>Wait until the dwarf leaves, open the first two doors, and run into the 7-11. Close the door and look around to see what's there

"Wait... so Euclinius, are you just going to wait here while I make a decision?"
"Pretty much"

>You open the door in front of you, the one to the Kingdom of Ice

Frost immediately covers your soot-ridden attire and a violent gust of cold air greets you. You see stone below you gradually become covered in ice, then snow. Kind of chilly, but nothing too terribly cold so thus far. You can't see that much beyond, but you do see an old-fashioned castle in the distance...
>A possible destination, perhaps?
You think to yourself

From your studies, you recall that one that goes by Erma of the Frost lives in a tundra very similar to this one. She may reside in the castle, but you know what the consequences of visiting the castle would be.

The dangers of permafrost, frostbite, and other frost-related ailments remind you that it would be unwise to go this route without preparing adequately.

>You open the door to the Fire Chamber

All of the frost on you immediately melts away and you begin to sweat a little as the aptly-named Fire Chamber's hot environment permeates beyond the door. You see that the light in the chamber bends a little due to the difference in heat. The temperature in the chamber is well above room temperature, you estimate it is about 38-40°C (or an equivalent in Freedom Units)
Beyond the initial door, the stones turn into a bridge of hot coals with fire underneath. Pillars of brimstone are protruding upwards from a hole surrounding the bridge. Looks dangerous. If you go this route, you may have to descend onto the Inferno

You realize you're going to need to hydrate a bit before even attempting this one

>Go to the 7-11

"Yeah... I'll probably just head to the 7-11"
"Wise choice, adventurer", Euclinius says

Cobblestones turn into grass as you begin on the foresty-path to your right that you assume leads to the 7-11. You reach the super-convenience store without much of a hassle (but you did hear ominous shrieking along the way... Probably nothing to worry about, though. It happens!)

>You made it safely to the 7-11!!!

"Good Afternoon!" a man, about 25 years old, greets you enthusiastically. "Are you looking for anything?"
"Not anything in particular... But now that you mention it, I'm kind of hungry. Does this 7-11 have those cute little hot-dog making machines that spin the sausages to cook them evenly?"
"Indeed we do! Down and to your right"

>You make yourself a couple of hotdogs and eat them after paying a surprisingly little amount of money. Which is good, you didn't exactly carry your entire savings when you entered this maze


"By the way, would you happen to have a new set of clothes around here? As you can see, I might need new gear"
"Certainly! Anything in particular you're looking for?

Uh....
>What type of clothing should you get?

>get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

You don't see any dinosaurs (Yet... They may be extinct, but you never know with these 7-11's)

  No.29866

>>29829
a dragonplate skyrim armor cosplay outfit will do just fine. of course used jeans with a t-shirt is also acceptable

  No.29919

>>29866
>>29866
>a dragonplate skyrim armor outfit will do just fine. of course used jeans with a t-shirt is also acceptable

>Why not both?

"Would you happen to have armor and/or casual attire?"
"Well of course! We may be a 7-11 on the side of a questionable dungeon, but that doesn't mean we don't come well-stocked from headquarters! Follow me"

>You begin following the clerk into the deeper parts of the store (this is kind of large for a 7-11, you think to yourself, but don't give this much thought), when you come across a combination of attire and armor


>Two different attires catch your eyes: A complete set of armor, with chest-plates, chain mail, and other parts of armor you don't exactly remember the name of all on display. Next to the set of armor lies a semi-formal light-blue button-down shirt with some fashionable red pants below.


>You read the price tags on both sets of clothing:


Armor - $10,000
Semi-Casual Attire - $40

You could always try to cough up the money by working at the 7-11, but you think to yourself that you always have options.

What do you do?

>Work honestly and faithfully until you have enough money to buy the armor

>Ask for discounts
>Try to steal the armor when he's not looking

  No.29925

>>29919
start working and ask for an employee discount