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lainchan archive - /r/ - 902

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How do you deal with loneliness, Lain?
I've been alone for most of my life (no friends or family), so i think it's easier now, while there are periods where i feel miserable about it, it's mostly something i already accepted.

The way i deal with it is with computer science, it gives me some sense of pride to do projects and study, it helps to counter the feeling of misplacement/uselessness.
Also Lainchan, i used to be a member of Evilzone and it was a pretty great community, but it's dead now, Lainchan is one of the places where i feel like i belong a little, so that helps, too.


Go out to the park and watch the children play.
Or to the market and watch people buying food.
Or to the train station and watch families separating and lovers kissing good-bye.

Anything to remind me that, while I'm not part of it, life goes on for all these people ; that humanity thrives and I'm a small part of it.
I guess it sounds more lonely than anything, but it actually is for me what keeps negative feeling at bay the best.


I've found that people need to stop saying they don't like things. Start exploring genres you think you don't like, force yourself to intake content you don't like.

Basically go with the grain of society, but also explore more avant-garde avenues to stand out.

I guess just go to the bar and chat people up, ask what they're on about, and talk about life, that's what I do.

Something you have to understand though is that the feelings of loneliness never go away, especially if you're intelligent, people will disappoint you, and you will disappoint yourself.

I recommend you read Seneca and Aurelius and really try to let their ideas enter your life, it might help. Nietzsche too. These people's ideas are so serene.

Right now I'm very depressed, it's strange because threads on Lainchan seem to pop up at the times I need them to the most.


The best cure for loneliness that I've found is to keep myself busy. Whether that's through work or education. At the end of a long day, you'll be too tired to feel lonely.


>Nietzsche's ideas
Please tell me how this is.


you don't deal with loneliness, you manage it.

The only cure for loneliness is people, and sometimes not even that helps.


I like to project myself in the future as a sort of hermit or monk. Or as the quiet guy who, because of his abstinence form social endeavors, excels at some skill.
Sadly, I don't have what it takes to hold that claim.

But that's how I cope with loneliness, not too different from the OP, I pick some stuff that I want to get good at, and make them my identity.
The loneliness thoughts still creep once every now and then, but I have a sense of... something similar to purpose, that makes them bearable.


I find myself longing for company sometimes. If I'm visited by a friend or family then it might brighten up my day.
However, afterwards I realize that loneliness is where I feel at home. If I spend too much time with other people, an amount that seems normal to everyone else, it comes to a point where I can't stand it and need to get away. Which ends up in a period of relative seclusion. And the cycle repeats over and over.
So I've come to terms with the fact that I crave loneliness more than company, and need it to stay sane.


> it comes to a point where I can't stand it and need to get away.

I'd say that's relatively normal. After a long period of time with friends I'll start to feel a bit detached. I won't pay attention to anything and just want to be elsewhere. I guess for a while it's okay to just mong out but its easy to fall into a pit so I try to curb that by taking walks and listening to music when I feel lonely. Sit by the window of a bar or cafe and people watch. Like the other anon said, there's something strangely therapeutic about seeing the world move about and hearing or seeing the things other people do. It can be quite entertaining.


I'm just the same way. Bertrand Russel wrote about this being the greatest cure for unhappiness. He was suicidal when he was younger but by compulsively studying math he managed to avoid killing himself.


I've been living in sydney for 1 year now. I left my natal buenos aires and all my friends and family behind. I am completely alone here. The only people i talk to irl are my coworkers. Ive gotta say i had more than several opportunities to feel lonely, even isolated. But i realized that loneliness is felt comparatevily. You compare your lonely self with your non-lonely self, and feel bad.
Part of growing up may be learning that one is that same person at the same time, that you choose or decide to be lonely because it comforts you or gives you an excuse.
I cant say you can conversely "decide" to stop feeling lonely, but knowing that feeling it is a choice cheers me up a bit.
Deep down, my brain enjoys that sensation. Maybe its a masochistic practice. Or maybe its a repression: you feel lonely in order to avoid feeling or doing something else.


Make friends. It's the only thing that can truly help
That's a good idea


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>Go out to the park and watch the children play.
>Get mistaken for a pedophile.
>Somebody calls 911.


Unless you're stroking your penis and offering candy, that is unrealistic to happen. Might as well consider that someone might shoot you.


>Make friends. It's the only thing that can truly help
That would be like me telling someone who has trouble studying to "Just study, it's the only thing that will get through your finals".
Well, obviously it is, that is not the issue.


>only american things
For real, the park I'm thinking about has all kind of things going on beside the children running around.
Food stands, people walking their dog, roman ruins you can visit, sometimes juggler or musicians.
Unless you're really starring and following a specific kid, no one is going to suspect soykaf.
Buy a hot-dog, sit on a bench near the pond, and you can watch kids feeding the ducks for half an hour.
This spark in their eyes when the swan comes and pick the bread in their palm ...
Feels good man.

While we're on the topic, is it true that it's weird to go to the cinema alone ?
I can't tell if it's a meme or not.
My father always did it, and me after him, but that does not mean much given my kinda-odd family.


>While we're on the topic, is it true that it's weird to go to the cinema alone ?
As a rule of thumb, nobody cares about anything as long as you're not actively bothering anyone.

It's only as weird as you make it.